This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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