sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize