Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
