woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
