I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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