a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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