I hate your face
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
