Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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