Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
