I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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