i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
