We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize