and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
