my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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