I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
