everyone is single if you try hard enough
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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