It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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