I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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