She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
