So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
