i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
