i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
