I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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