Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
