he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This is the high leading the old right now
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
