Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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