Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
