yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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