I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
