I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
