Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
