The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wish i was in the wii world.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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