So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
