I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
