I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize