I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Randomize
