I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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