Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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