Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
