Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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