I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need to calm my uterus...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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