I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is Oprah even human
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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