Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
