Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
