My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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