I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
