Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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