I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
