Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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