I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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