it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
