Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
