It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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