Umm I'm too high to move.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you had me at cake vodka
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize