Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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