you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
