I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
