Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
