k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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