Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize