I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
