I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
