sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize