White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
