you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's blow job season.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize